Novena of Grace (Day 2) Year A

In the Gospel today we hear Jesus speak of a unity between Him and His Father—a unity founded on affection that becomes the basis for the apostolic action of Jesus in the world. Jesus is united with His Father. That allows Him the freedom to engage in the ministry of drawing the world from the brink of annihilation/self-destruction back to the Father. Likewise, the members of the Society of Jesus are spread throughout the world engaged in the same apostolic ministry of reconciling the world with one another and with God—a ministry of consolation. Given the geographical spread, St Ignatius writes of the difficulty of maintaining unity in dispersion but insists on the importance of this unity for the efficacy of this apostolic endeavour. In the Constitution of the Society of Jesus it says: The Society (of Jesus) cannot be preserved or governed or, consequently, attain the aim it seeks for the greater glory of God unless its members are united among themselves and with their head. (655).

Today we enter the 2nd day of the novena. Let me focus on the subject of friendship expressed as affection and esteem for one another. The unity which St Ignatius envisioned is actually described by him as friendship in the Lord. The early companions were known as “friends in the Lord". It is perhaps an understated aspect of what a Jesuit is today. A critic of the Jesuits once said that the “Jesuits meet without affection and they part without regret”. It may be harsh but this truth can be explained by the fact that we have focused so much on carrying out our apostolic task that we forget that our apostolic endeavour is borne upon the shoulders of friendship and affection and not a burden shackled by duty. If you think about it, even the phrase “Jesus sent” lends itself to the idea that he is sent to carry out a duty. But, in reality, there’s an affection (or love) between the Father and Son which gave rise to the mission of the Son. I rephrase what I said earlier, there is a friendship founded on affection that becomes the basis for the apostolic action of Jesus in the world.

I would like to survey what little we know of the friendship between Francis and Ignatius and how it can help us reflect upon our daily Christian life.

The seed for our reflexion began in Paris. It was here, in the college as a student, that Francis met two other students who would have a huge influence on his life, Pierre Favre and Ignatius of Loyola. In 1526 Francis Xavier met Pierre and they became college roommates and friends. In 1529 they were joined by Ignatius of Loyola, who was then just new to the college. Pierre Favre was easily impressed by Ignatius whereas Francis was described by Ignatius to be the toughest nut ever that he had to crack. Francis Xavier did not take too kindly to Ignatius, even though Ignatius often came to the financial assistance of Francis, who, as a student, liked to live as a noble, much beyond his means. Ignatius may have seen the potential that lay hidden beneath Francis’ big ambitions but if anything else, it is more likely that Ignatius’ persistent friendship and affection that won Francis over to his cause. The two would become life-long friends. In fact, mutual affection was characteristic of the early Jesuits which allowed them to overcome the tensions that came from their differing personalities and nationalities. There were perhaps as many nationalities as there were the members of the original Society.

The way to apostolic efficacy/effectiveness winds through the avenue of friendship. The very idea of St Ignatius that the Jesuits should be friends in the Lord is based on our creedal belief. The Communion of Saints we profess is not a loose congregation of saints whose commonality is that they have been canonised. They are there because of the sharing of what is good. “Since all the faithful form one body, the good of each is communicated to the others. There exists a communion of goods in the Church”. Of course, goods is not measured materially. Perhaps it’s not too far-fetched to say that within the Communion of Saints we find a sharing of affection. Is that not implied when we pray the Eucharistic Prayer III, “May he make us an everlasting gift to you and enable us to share in the inheritance of your saints, with Mary, the virgin Mother of God, with the apostles, the martyrs, St Francis Xavier and all your saints, on whose constant intercession we rely for help”? How else to explain the constant intercession if not because we believe in the mutual affection that exists between the Church Militant and the Church Triumphant?

If we ever envisage our parish to be efficacious, then perhaps, the idea of friendship should be explored even more because the pathway to Christ cuts through friendship and affection. The ancient philosophers recognised how important and essential friendship is for human development. They called friendship a necessity. With the exception of wisdom, Cicero views friendship as the "sun of life, . . . the best gift which the immortal gods have given humanity". Friendship can refer to many kinds of human relationships which are hardly worthy of the name. But, according to Aristotle, the true and perfect friendship has the good for its object, i.e., the friends each seek what is good for the other. They love each other not for what they can get out of the relationship but for what they are. St Thomas Aquinas would echo such sentiments.

Friendships are formed when we love others for their own sakes. For a true and genuine friendship to exist, something good has to be communicated. The higher and more noble this good is, the more noble the friendship will be. The best kind of friendship is the one in which "mutual and reciprocal communications relate to charity, devotion, and Christian perfection”. Perhaps now we see how friendship and affection really enriches our apostolic efficacy. The lack of friendship impoverishes us. Like Descartes’s “cogito ego sum”, we can say, “we are friendship”... for it is the essence of who we are.

It is through friendship and affection that a person becomes what he/she is. But, in order to enter into a friendship, people have to accept themselves as they are. We have to first be a friend to ourselves before we can become a friend to another. In this, we need courage to face our vulnerability. Jesus, hanging on the Cross was actually suspended in the vulnerability of the mutual affection between Him and His Father.

Thus, true friendship, which is modelled after that of the Trinity, accepts vulnerability and yet demands that we challenge our friends to be who and what they really are without ever implying in the challenge a withdrawal of our affection for them. Friends help Christians to be good Christians. And because friendship is who we are, a quality intrinsic to our human nature, think of how many people have been burnt in the furnace of friendship and the hurts they have suffered. If we are friendship, then broken friendship can only make the world a painful one. If the parish is not where it is supposed to be, it perhaps challenges us to a further reflexion on our various ministries. Are we friends? Dare we be affectionate? Do we hide our vulnerability behind the walls of duty?

I realise how far we are from our ideals. There is infighting in our ministries. We are by no means unique because it’s a sad phenomenon that affects every parish I know. This distance from our ideal is proof of sin active in our lives. It may be the occasion for criticism of hypocrisy that our actions do not match our ideals. But more and more, we need to come before the God who calls us to grant us that friendship, affection and esteem which we seek in order that our coming together may be apostolically fruitful and our parting always affectionate.

St Francis cut out the names of his companions and kept the parchment close to his heart and often wrote movingly of his love and affection for them. Tonight, let us pray for those who have been hurt by broken relationships and pray that we may never be afraid of the vulnerability of friendship but be granted affection in Christ to befriend and to love.