Holy Family Year A 2025

The Malay word for Eurasians, namely, those of Portuguese descent, in Malaysia and Singapore is “Serani” which is derived from the last verse of today’s Gospel: He will be called a “Nazarene”. Believers in Antioch were called Christians taking their name from the Christ and since “Serani” refers to the Nazarene, to be a Eurasian is indeed doubly blessed—named after Christ and after the Nazarene. While it may be a fascinating trivia yet the whole naming convention does reveal something about what we are celebrating today—the Holy Family.

Coming right after Christmas, we are presented with the Holy Family for two reasons. Firstly, they are a model to emulate. Secondly, the family is central to God’s plan of salvation.

In terms of emulation, the difficulty is that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were not really a customary “family” the way we understand it. Firstly, Mary and Joseph, if we follow the long-standing tradition of the Church, they remained celibate during the entirety of their married life. It is unusual to be married and yet to remain celibacy. Secondly, Mary had a child outside of wedlock. Again it wasnot really a conventional thing to conceive outside of marriage.

And yet they have been called the Holy Family.

Perhaps their domestic disarray is really the food for our contemplation about what it means to model ourselves after the Holy Family. The key to appreciating Jesus, Mary and Joseph is to be found in the 2nd Reading. Taken from the Letter to the Colossians, St Paul lists out the virtues we ought to cultivate in order to live as a family. They are compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and because God first forgave us, we can also grow in the forgiveness for others. Furthermore, the fact that Mary and Joseph were subjected to hardship may help us because our families are often marked by suffering here on earth. Despite experiencing deficiencies and defects, Jesus, Mary and Joseph still managed to thrive as a family.

No matter how flawed a family background is, it remains the primary place for essential virtues to flourish. Trust, compassion and personal responsibility are all shaped by and formed from the relationships that exist in a family unit. Translated, it simply means that a stable marriage is necessary for a family to function because it provides space for the acquisition of virtues.

Ordinarily the transmission of faith and culture takes place within the framework of a family. In fact, traditions or customs or the way we do things, whether we know it or not, provide a sense of stability for individuals and society. A good example is in Singapore’s Hawker scene. A packet of tissue on a table means that someone has “booked” or “choped” the table. A Malaysian who has no inkling of the local custom sees the packet of tissue and may think that someone has left behind free tissue. We get a sense of belonging when there is stability or a sense that things are arranged in a certain way. But when traditions are constantly changed, people will experience a sense of disequilibrium.

On the topic of providing stability, guess who best transmits tradition? Grandparents. They maintain a link between our past and our future. As families become more nuclear, meaning that, when a family is reduced simply to parents and children, then we will find the transmission of tradition somewhat frustratedor impeded. It is happening even now because our children are marrying much older and when the grandchildren come, we, the grandparents are no longer vibrant and robust. What the grandchildren see in the elderly grandparents are not towers of strength but rather feeble and frail geriatrics who are shadows of their former selves.

Even though the nuclear family is considered the bedrock or foundation of civilisation, the fact that we have retreated into the small families is already an indication of the progressive decline of civilisation. Sometimes we chafe or we react strongly to the reality of the nanny state, meaning that, we do not like it when the state removes the rights of parents to decide what is best for their offspring. The reality is that as we progressively retreat to becoming nuclear families, the greater will the power of the nanny state be.

When there is a breakdown of families, no doubt caused by the failure of marriages, then society will also suffer. When families fail especially in the transmission of values, our society will struggle to maintain its moral compass and identity. Even since the fall of man, there has been cheaters, liars and thieves. Look at Jacob cheating Esau of his birthright. The question is, why our scamming has grown so out of proportion. Look at how families are organisedtoday. When you meet a family whose children are well-behaved, you are immediately impressed. The obverse is also true. When you observe a family whose children have no manners, immediately you shudder. When families fail, we will have to rely more on governmental intervention which we somehow resent.

They say that an apple does not fall far from the tree. I have always thought of my Dad as someone who had issues and in a way, I was freed of them but I have come to realise that I, still in many ways, behave like my father. The truth about us is that we are very much shaped by our family. Whether a family is perfect or not, the pilgrimage to eternity passes through the family. Therefore, parents should recognise how influential they are in their children’s moral development especially during their formative years. If you curse always in your car whilst driving, be sure that your children will also pick up that habit.

In the case of Joseph, as a man of honour, he would have inculcated into Jesus the profound sense of justice which Jesus exhibited through His life. Joseph fled to Egypt because it was the prudent action to take, in order to protect the Child and His Mother. Christ in His life, knew when to confront the authorities or when to withdraw. He would have acquired this prudence from Joseph. In what they did, both Joseph and Mary embraced God’s plan which shows us how we too can collaborate with God’s will. Obedience to God did not shield the Holy Family from the inconveniences of life but what carried them through their tribulations was their faith.

It may be fashionable in a victim society to blame our family for what we are. But blaming merely avoid assuming responsibility for our behaviour and action. Rather than blaming others, Mary and Joseph did what they could, with God’s grace, for their imperfect family. We always assume that their holiness came from being a perfect family but they did not earn the title “holy” from being perfect. They were not “holy-moly white-lily” holding insipid weaklingsrepresented by the white-washed statues we sometimes see in Churches. They gain the honour of being called holy for their supporting role in God’s plan of salvation. Holiness is an imitation but not in the way we associate it with “poor copies” or “cheap imitation”. Imitation is a form of mimicry in that we emulate Jesus, Mary and Joseph who participated in God’s desire to save mankind and creation. Since we have been invited by God to stand under His stream of salvation, that means every family can become a holy family, like Jesus, Mary and Joseph were.